Who Takes Care of the Chefs?

A couple of weeks back I was talking with an old friend and chef, Brett Baker, and he brought up an interesting topic... "Who takes care of us?"  In context of the conversation we were having on the podcast, we were talking about the fact that I have been sober for 11 years and that being a chef can be a very lonely and isolated existence at times.  Isolated and lonely are my words and definitely an experience that I can say that I've had.  Some may argue that it's not possible for the "rock stars" of the kitchen can lead such a life.  But is it really that far-fetched when you really think about it? If you think about it, chefs spend countless hours a day care taking and serving.  Not only taking care and serving all of the guests that come through the doors of their respective establishments, but for their "children," too.  Perhaps I have a grandiose view of what a chef does, or to many of you I'm hitting the nail right on the G-damn head!  We, I can say we because I spent close to 25 years on the line, have a group of people who are under our direction for several hours a day.  And, as a parent, we can have a positive or negative impact on those people's lives from moment to moment.  We have a near impossible responsibility to fulfill.  Yet, with some stumbling and a fair amount of failures mixed in, we suit up and show up to do our best day after day, week after week...you get the picture.

But when the kitchen is clean and the staff meals have been prepared and the shift beer has been consumed what then?  I know for me I sought solace in a myriad of things, most of which weren't good for me or anyone in my adjacent vicinity.  If I'm being completely honest I wanted to just not feel the way I felt and I would do pretty much whatever I needed or wanted to do in order to achieve that goal.  For years, I drank heavily at work(most nights when I had finished my work), then I would go home and take down a few bong rips and proceed to the bar until 2.  That was my life for a long time-just as sure as the fucking sun was going to rise-an endless cycle of getting up early, working long ass hours in harsh conditions, drinking(and driving), smoking weed, hanging out at the bar...and repeat.  Who in the fuck lives like that?  Lot's of people.  Some people can manage.  Some people grow out of it.  Some just continue on until they crash and burn.  Some can take it, until they can't and either get sober or they die in one way or another.  It can be, for all intents and purposes, a very lonely and sad existence at times.

You see the fact is that this is how it is for many different people in many walks of life.  Whether or not you are a chef, rock star, comedian, actor, married or not.  You could replace the word "Chef" in the title of this post with any number of words.  We all need someone looking out for us.  The care givers need care givers.  Doctors need doctors, and so on and so forth.  We need people, another person or persons to help guide us and keep us in check.  To call us on our bullshit and help make sure we suit up and show up for life and the people who depend on us, day after day, week after week...you get the picture.