Many of you have probably heard of the Movember Foundation and there are just as many of you that, perhaps, may have not. There are others, too, that just see dudes making it a point to either grow a mustachio or plain just not shave during the month of November. While you may have heard of Movember, but do you know what all this facial hair is all about? The Movember movement was started as a way to shed light on men's health issues and bring to the forefront meaningful conversations about what is happening with men all over the world. The fact is that, let's just say for me this is true, us guys don't really want to talk about issues that make us vulnerable. We are very tight-lipped, pun intended, when it comes to our health. The foundation and movement want to help men break free from old ideals and to be able to share openly about what's happening with our bodies and our minds. So, in particular, some of the issues that the Movember Foundation focuses on are: prostate & testicular cancers, mental health, suicide prevention and overall physical health. Just to throw a couple of numbers at you, which I don't like to do very much... Men are dying on average 6 years earlier than our female counterparts and men are taking their own lives at a rate of 60 per day. WHAT THE FUCK!?!

So. I. Mo.

A lot of time we come to a pivot point in life where we can continue to stand on the sideline and let shit just happen to us, or we say to ourselves "enough of this shit, I have to do something." That happened for me a few years ago. I don't know what clicked inside of me, but something did and I decided to get involved. This year will mark my fourth or fifth year participating in the #movembermovement. It may not seem like much and you don't hear me shouting from the rooftops all day, every day, 365. However, during the month of November I do my part to raise awareness on the issues that effect men. Let me make one thing clear- I do talk about the issues year round, but you just won't see me pounding my chest and beating the drum about it all year long...Perhaps I should start doing that?

Why?

Well, I'm glad you asked! There are a couple of reasons. I have a few people in my life that are effected by prostate cancer, schizophrenia and through my recovery I have a hand full of acquaintances that have decided it was better to take their own lives. No to mention the high-profile suicides that have happened over the course of the last year or so: Chris Cornell, Chester Bennington & Anthony Bourdain. Please understand, that I know there are many, many men that have taken their lives and that it is happening right at this very moment somewhere. I am NOT marginalizing anyone here! I pointed out those three gentlemen in particular to show that mental health problems and suicide are things that can impact every single one of us. The types of issues that the Movember Foundation wants to shed a light on, don't discriminate. What does happen though, is we men, don't want to appear weak or show that we are weak, vulnerable or fallible.

It's a vicious cycle if you think about it. By adhering to the societal "norm," we keep dying too young and effecting the lives of our families that are left behind to pick up the pieces trying to answer the question, why. So, why in the fuck can't we talk about these things? Why do we cling on to these stupid ass ideals that opening up and talking about what is really going on is seen as a weakness? The idea that we have to be a "macho man," has to be done away with if we want to make a truly impactful change. I can speak from my own personal experience when it comes to this. I snore. And when I say I snore, I mean I snore like a motherfucking bear! My wife has asked me for years to have a sleep study done and finally, just a few weeks ago, I told her I was scared to get the study done because I was afraid the doctors would tell me I have sleep apnea and I'd have to use a goddamn C-pap.

I didn't want to show that I needed help with something that could potentially change my life for the better. I'd rather be prideful and continue to say "I got this, I'll figure it out." Knowing full well that I don't fucking have it and without help there's no way in fucking hell that I'll figure this out! Even more recently I've noticed that some of the feelings and thoughts that pass across my brain might not be considered healthy. Again, at the behest of my wife I have begun to seek professional help for that.

The reality is, though, the conversations I'm having with my close male friends aren't about mental health or if I've had a prostate exam recently. Or when the last time I talked to the doctor about my balls. We just don't talk about that shit. Period. I can't appear to have chinks in my armor. Are you fucking kidding me... I'd rather die! This is the exact thing that keeps happening over and over in the minds of many of us! The very thing that keeps dying needlessly. The thing that keeps us in the dark trying to deal with our feelings and thoughts isolated and alone. We, men, as a whole must break free of the bondage of ego and self to allow ourselves to open up, stand up, reach out and say "I'm not fucking OK!" Guess what? It's OK to be NOT OK! It was once pointed out to me that there is more strength in asking for help than trying to go it alone.

I don't always have it together. I don't always feel OK. I am vulnerable. There are things that I can't handle on my own. Shit, there are things that none of us, really, should handle on our own. Together, guys, we can do this!

So, I mo', bro.

I Mo', Bro

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